His Needs Her Needs Building an Affair Proof Marriage Marriage works only when each spouse takes the time to consider the other s needs and strives to meet them In His Needs Her Needs Willard Harley identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women

  • Title: His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage
  • Author: Willard F. Harley Jr.
  • ISBN: 9780800717889
  • Page: 261
  • Format: Hardcover
  • Marriage works only when each spouse takes the time to consider the other s needs and strives to meet them In His Needs, Her Needs, Willard Harley identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses He provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse and for loving creatively and senMarriage works only when each spouse takes the time to consider the other s needs and strives to meet them In His Needs, Her Needs, Willard Harley identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses He provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse and for loving creatively and sensitively, thereby eliminating the problems that often lead to extramarital affairs The revised anniversary edition of His Needs, Her Needs is a celebration of how the book has helped thousands of couples revitalize their marriages during the last fifteen years This best seller identifies the causes of marital difficulties and instructs couples on how to prevent them, guiding them to build a relationship that sustains romance and increases intimacy With today s soaring divorce rate and prevalence of affairs, Harley s insights are needed than ever before.An unabridged recording of His Needs, Her Needs, the 15th anniversary edition, is now available as an audio book.

    His Needs, Her Needs Building an Affair Proof Marriage Jan , His Needs, Her Needs Building an Affair Proof Marriage Willard F Jr Harley on FREE shipping on qualifying offers How can couples experience a lifetime of passion and fulfillment in marriage By identifying each other s most important emotional needs and developing habits to meet them This is the basis for two books from best selling author Willard Harley Now his needs her needs Lo Que El Necesita, Lo Que Ella Necesita His Needs, Her Needs Construye un matrimonio a prueba de infidelidades Building an Affair Proof Marriage Spanish Edition by Willard F Jr Harley Feb , . out of stars Paperback . Get it as soon as Mon, Jan . His Needs, Her Needs Revised and Expanded Willard F In the classic bestseller His Needs, Her Needs, Willard F Harley, Jr identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses He provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse and for loving creatively and sensitively, thereby eliminating the problems that often lead to extramarital affairs. His Needs, Her Needs Building an Affair Proof Marriage His Needs, Her Needs was written to educate you in the care of your spouse Once you have learned it s lessons, your spouse will find you irresistible, a condition that s essential to a happy and successful marriage It will also help you eliminate the major cause of infidelity , Hardcover pages PARTICIPANT S GUIDE His Needs, Her Needs His Needs, Her Needs, you ll learn to love each other cre atively and sensitively, and you ll see that it s possible to virtually eliminate the problems that often lead to extramarital His Needs Her Needs Emotional Needs in Marriages His Needs Her Needs Emotional Needs in Marriages All information adapted from Dr Willard Harley Jr s book, His Needs Her Needs Building an Affair Proof Marriage Fleming H Revell Affection Showing love through words, cards, gifts, hugs, kisses, and courtesies creating an environment that clearly and repeatedly expresses love. His Needs, Her Needs His Needs, Her Needs A Summary for Reflection Together The Irresistible Man Any husband can make himself irresistible to his wife by learning to meet five basic marital needs He meets her need for affection with plenty of hugs and kisses at every opportunity He also tells her how much he cares for her with a steady flow of words, cards, BUILDING AN AFFAIR Inspireyourforte the title His Needs, Her Needs Building an Affair Proof Marriage Within two years of its first printing, it became a bestseller and continues to be one of the most popular books on marriage right up to this year It s been translated into twenty two languages and than three million copies have sold worldwide Finding a publisher for this book was Marriage Counselling His Needs vs Her Needs W.F.Harley Jul , Steve Harvey s Success journey Jeremiah I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord Duration Inspiring Habit , views

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    About "Willard F. Harley Jr."

    1. Willard F. Harley Jr.

      Willard F Harley, Jr Ph.D is best known as author of the internationally best selling book, His Needs, Her Needs Building An Affair proof Marriage Over three million copies have been purchased, and it is available in twenty two foreign translations.Dr Harley earned a Ph.D degree in psychology from the University of California at Santa Barbara in 1967 and has been a Licensed Psychologist in Minnesota since 1975 For the first ten years after earning his degree, he taught psychology at both the graduate and undergraduate levels During those years, he was also a frustrated part time marriage counselor with little success in helping couples.In 1973 he discovered that he was not alone in his failure to save marriages almost everyone in the marital therapy profession were also failing So he spent the next two years designing an entirely new approach see How Dr Harley Learned to Save Marriages When his success rate skyrocketed in 1977, he resigned from his teaching position to counsel full time Over the next ten years his solo practice developed into the largest network of mental health clinics in Minnesota thirty two locations with over one hundred psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers and chemical dependency counselors working with him to provide a full range of mental health services He became the exclusive provider of mental health and chemical dependency services in ten counties, and had offices in other counties as well.One of his responsibilities was to write support materials for the clinical program he directed He created over one hundred questionnaires and wrote numerous articles that were given to clients as part of their therapy Among the materials he wrote was His Needs, Her Needs, which was first published in 1986 Although it was written to be a support text for his marriage counseling program, within three years it had become a national best seller and a basic reference for marriage counselors throughout the nation.By 1988 he found himself spending almost all of his time administering his clinics, and very little time doing what he enjoyed most improving his marital therapy program So he began turning his clinics over to the counselors who worked with him, and the ownership of his last clinic was transferred in 1993 Since then, he has written 16 books and hundreds of articles.Dr Harley and his wife, Joyce, are actively involved in the Marriage Builders Online Program, which introduces couples to his highly successful plan for marital recovery An online seminar offered by Dr Harley kicks off a one year home study program that includes personal accountability He supervises the progress of those who enroll, and answers their questions on a special Marriage Builders Weekend section of the Forum.Dr and Mrs Harley have been married for 47 years and live in White Bear Lake, Minnesota They have two adult children, who are now working with them as marriage coaches, and four grandchildren.

    589 thoughts on “His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage”

    1. Although the author purports to be Christian, I have a hard time taking that seriously given the content of the book.To be fair, I believe the needs tests for spouses included in the book are of value.Harley takes a very shallow, worldly approach to marriage. In my opinion, he does not show any evidence of writing from a Christian perspective. He seems to almost condone adultery, if the innocent spouse wasn't meeting the "needs" of the guilty party. Similarly, he appears to place blame which sho [...]

    2. I thought people might have been exaggerating when they claimed this was the best marriage book they'd ever read, but this book was really something. The author's insights are fantastic - for married, divorced, and single people alike. I thought of about five people I'd like to lend it to. I think everyone could benefit from reading it. The appendices were also very helpful. If you plan on reading this book, start now! I put it off for a couple years because I have SO many books on my shelf, but [...]

    3. I liked the overall point this book made. Everyone has emotional needs, and we should try to meet the needs of our spouse.The problem I have with this book is that I felt the author justifies (especially men) going and having an affair because their needs were not being met. He makes no exceptions for sicknesses, going back to school, or just hard times. I felt he was especially hard on women saying they need to look just like their husbands want (hair style, perfect makeup, ideal weight, clothi [...]

    4. My wife and I listened to this book together on a long car ride, where we could pause and discuss when prompted. This is the worst book on marriage that I have read, there are a host of others I would recommend above it. While Harley claims to write from a Christian worldview, the Gospel and the meaning of marriage is completely absent from this book. That, alone, makes it ineffectual and makes me sad that it's held up by so many Christians. If you have an incorrect view of what marriage represe [...]

    5. This book the cornerstone of my marriage. My husband and I read it early on and I really feel that it was the secret to our success and smooth sailing through the rough patches and growing pains we faced in our first few years. It helps couples put their fingers on their own needs and the needs of their spouses, and gives you a common language and understanding to draw from, which vastly improves your ability to communicate about these important issues.The sub-text of the title of this book is " [...]

    6. أعتقد أن فشل مجتمعنا فى تدريب الناس على إشباع احتياجات الاخريين - وبخاصة إحتياجات الزوج أو الزوجة - هو السبب فى ارتفاع معدلات الطلاق.فالزواج ليس مؤسسة اجتماعية بسيطة يدخلها كل إنسان لأنه " يقع فى الحب ويريد أن يعيش فى سعادة " . فما دمنا لا نرى أن الزواج علاقة معقدة تتطلب تدريبًا [...]

    7. المؤلف أتى من خلفية هندسية ولربما هذا ما جعل من الكتاب في قالب منهجي ونظامي ويؤسسس لمنهج عملي على ضوء علمي وتجربة ميدانية ليكون الحل للكثير من المشاكل الزوجية الكتاب رائع جداً وأعتقد إني سأنصح الجميع بأن يقرأئه، هو فعلاً يقدم رؤية رصينة وناضجة وعملية في علاج المشاكل الزوجية [...]

    8. This book is terrible. Unlike many good marriage books out there that encourage you to look beyond your selfishness, this book plunges you into selfish behavior. This is NOT a Christian book, it is purely secular with no Biblical basis. If you focus on your unmet marriage needs, trust me your marriage is not going to get better.In full disclosure, I read this book 5 years ago and thought it correct at the time. It nearly ended my marriage as I basically came to the place that my marriage could n [...]

    9. brilliant book. Will be buying this one to read every christmas break. It's a great way to start a fresh year and I would do well to be reminded of the concepts in here frequently.

    10. This book is largely about preventing or recovering from an affair. Lest you say that this doesn't apply to "me", he points out that a person (even a person with solid religious belief, and firm moral conviction) may be tempted into an affair, seduced by a "relationship built upon fantasy, not reality." In addition, by meeting the needs of your spouse, and by having your needs met, you will transform your marriage into something wonderful. It is also well written. Now, on to the basics of the bo [...]

    11. I changed this from 3 stars to 2 stars after thinking about it overnight. First of all, this book is obviously written by a man! Someone who has never given birth or stayed at home full time with babies/toddlers/preschoolers. Secondly, the book definitely uses fear and negativity throughout the chapters. I understand that probably every family that deals with a cheating spouse never thought it would happen to them, but I don't think that it is as common as the author makes it out to be, and even [...]

    12. كتاب بسيط و أساسي في كيفية الوصول إلى زواج سعيدالفكرة هي ببساطة ان لكل زوج و زوجة له/لها حاجات وجدانية مختلفةبشكل عام يتطرق الكتاب إلى اهم خمس حاجات عند الزوج و الزوجة اذا لُبية هذه الحاجات يعيش الرجل و المرأة في سعادةحاجات الرجل :١- الجنس٣-الترفيه، ان تكون زوجته افضل صاحب ترف [...]

    13. وجدت أن الكتاب مفيد جداً و بالأخص ساعدني كثيراً على فهم نفسي و أعمق حاجاتي العاطفية ، و بالتالي فهم الكثير من الأمور و التصرفات التي تُبنى على إثر هذه الحاجات. الآن أنا حقاً أملك تصورات حقيقية و ملموسة و متوازنة عن أهم حاجاتي و رغباتي العاطفية التي تحقق لي السعادة و الإشباع.لي [...]

    14. Bunch of bunk. Don't waste your time. If a spouse is a cheater, they are a cheater. If they are not a cheater, it doesn't matter what the other spouse does or does not do, they won't cheat. This books tries to make people feel guilty if they have a cheating spouse, like they could have done something better/different to prevent it. Take a page from the newspaperArnold, Tiger, Brad Pitt, Weinerl cheated on beautiful, talented, intelligent wives.

    15. My husband and I read this before we married and at each anniversary we go back over how we are each doing with the needs. At least for us, this book has been a God-send.

    16. Some family member gave this to us as a wedding present and I eventually got around to reading it, mostly because I like reading about interpersonal communication and relationships (ie, Gottman). At the beginning, I thought the author had some credibility and somewhat (simple) decent advice but my view changed with each chapter. In sum, the advice centers on gender stereotyping (a whole chapter on all the things women should do to be physically attractive, including tips on getting professional [...]

    17. Highlights:1. Men tend to try to meet needs that they would value and women do the same. But the needs of men and women are often very different and by wasting effort trying to meet the wrong needs, a couple fails to make each other happy.2. When a spouse lacks fulfillment of any of the basic needs, it creates a thirst that must be quenched.3. An affair usually begins as a friendship. If any of a spouse’s five basic emotional needs goes unmet, that spouse becomes vulnerable to the temptation o [...]

    18. I found this helpful in separating out and enunciating what I need in marriage. And understanding what my husband needs. Like most marriage books it would be best if both parties can read it. His concept of a love bank and marriage is for your needs to be met seemed surprised me some. It's very different than the holy language of most Christian marriage books that marriage is to sanctify you and love is an axiom not a feeling. I felt like this book gives a person more hope because it describes h [...]

    19. I gave this book five stars not because it's perfect, but because it has some great solid advice that I believe has put not just my marriage but my worldview on the right trajectory. My husband and I read it before we got married, and I recommend any prospective spouses who are interested in this book to read it too.Harley is no nonsense to the point of being clinical, and yet is down to earth and even friendly in tone. His basic premise - from YEARS of experience as a professional psychologist [...]

    20. This is the best book on marriage, and making a marriage work, and work well, that I have ever read. It's a little bit Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, but so much better. Willard Harley points out the common fundamental differences between mens' and womens' needs and talks about how ignorance of these needs can lead to your partner finding someone, intentionally or not, who CAN fill the unfilled need(s). it's might seem like a scare tactic--the subtitle IS How to Affair-Proof your Marri [...]

    21. I don't remember how this book ended up on my "to read" list, but it was less than I expected. A bit dated, very stereotypical in the gender views, and kind of unrealistic in many of the recommendations. There were some good take-home messages: you can't expect your marriage to be happy if all of the happy/fun/best times you have are apart from your spouse, so you need to find activities you enjoy doing together and you need to spend sufficient time together. Also, to stay in love and wanting to [...]

    22. I've been through two marriages and am currently (and very happily) on my third. My first two wives were involved in multiple transgressions that devastated me. I mean, really, really devastated me. It took me thirty years and reading this book to forgive them and to realize that their actions were somewhat predictable and not all their fault. I knew that I was not a perfect husband "what 20 something husband is"? I now know that it wasn't that I was imperfect or that they were; we were woefully [...]

    23. Great relationship book! While some of the men's needs made me angry and seemed downright sexist, just because I didn't like them didn't mean that they weren't accurate. I think a lot of female reviewers' problems with the book are that the author tells it like it is instead of how women wish it were or think it should be. That being said, every individual has to choose how far they are willing to go to accomodate their spouse's needs without compromising who they are.The bottom line is, the boo [...]

    24. The five needs for men are sex, recreational companionship, an attractive spouse, domestic support, and admiration, while womens' needs are affection, conversation, honesty, financial support, and family commitment. Though these needs are not true for everyone and may switch or be shared by both sexes. I read this book in the late '80s early '90s held some eye opening ideas that I myself wasn't ready to understand. Yet now in the present and second marriagewe practice it and have a deep understa [...]

    25. The author's blunt writing style is refreshing within the relationship-enhancing genre. He's a counselor fed up with people not able to make their marriages work, and he provides countless examples of what will happen if a partner's needs are not met. Chapters include the top 5 needs for men and women, toggling between the sexes. Though I don't agree with all 5 of the top women's needs, I did gain a better understanding of the other sex and what to watch for in my next relationship.

    26. I'm glad I didn't heed the reviews that said this book wasn't worth reading or wasn't "biblical," whatever that means. While the author's content could have been pruned a bit to make the book more concise, (it did seem wordy at times and parts of the book dragged on with excessive and unnecessary information like how to diet effectively or the differing physical reactions during sexual relations), and easier to read, I think his overall message is important and is even essential to know if one i [...]

    27. I didn't agree with everything but it is a great book to get conversation going about each persons different needs.

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